It's been a while since I posted last, avoiding typing as usual bec. of severe arm pain.
I'm in Daly City to come see my Dad who's been asking when am I going to visit. I was going to take the bus but too much stress involved if I did. So I decided to ask my nephew to come pick me up. Again, never in my life did it cross my mind that I would be asking for rides in my 40's!! Driving is the biggest loss for me. I'm hoping that after surgery, I could drive.
I'm scheduled for an anterior cervical discectomy and fusion on Sept. 15, 2011 at The Chiari Institute in Long Island, New York. I'm really hoping that it will change my life to somewhat brighter and a little more fun than what it is now.
Right now everything I do using my hands and arms hurt so much, like my arms are separated from my body. The headaches are weird, feels like it is my brain that hurts, only on the left side. Pressure in the ear is annoying like drilling inside my ear. The pain around the root of my arms, shoulders, upper back, chest area makes me feel nauseated. The left side of my back gets more and more numb and hard and it feels like it has been getting higher almost to my shoulders and it feels really weird. It gets harder to walk each time I try. I still haven't been able to sit. Not sure if the surgery will do anything for this. Not to be negative but I know this is coming from my spinal cord and not from stenosis or kyphosis or whatsoever. But I guess we have to be optimistic and just hope that the surgery will help!
The last two months have been kind of miserable, spending more time in bed almost everyday. After breakfast it's back to bed time, after lunch it's back to bed time. Then if Dora doesn't make the dinner, I make easy dinner for us, scoot with the dog and then bedtime. I want to do a little more than that. I have been hiding from friends who have been inviting me to go out with them. It's hard to explain to them what I can't do because I look so normal.
Until next post, my eyes are dry and tired. I will sleep good tonight for sure.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Trying So Hard To Be Positive
My condition has been going downhill day by day although I have been trying so hard to stay positive. I never mentioned anything to my son about my worsening condition. He has many other things to worry about and the last thing I would want is to add to his burden.
I try to make easy meals and healthy at the same time. I like to broil fish and vegetables. For breakfast, I usually eat banana and yogurt. Sometimes I ask Dora to cook enchilada and I eat it for many days!
I haven't posted for a while just because of the weakness of my extremities. I was taken to the ER last Wednesday because of weakness and numbness on the left side of my body. It is a very scary feeling when you feel your body becoming hard and weak, I thought I was going to be paralyzed!! My left side has been bothering me even more, it's weird because it used to be the right side that was weaker. It's disappointing that other people judge you. The doctor asked me to push and I couldn't push hard and she said, I know you can!! This disease could give you pain not only in the body but a heartache because it is an invisible disease that people tend to think you are exaggerating.
Right now, when I use my arms as for anything, right away it's hard to breath, I feel weaknesss in my chest area and the pain is excruciating. It feels like breathing from a very small sieve!!All my joints, including knuckles of my fingers are painful. Ankles, knees, root of my arms, elbows and wrists are all very painful and arms and legs are very weak. The weakness comes from inside. Right now, it is hard to stand up for a few minutes, my body seems like it is broken in the waist and buttocks area and my arms feel like they are going to fall off.
I am getting so close to being able to accept all of these but one thing that is going to be very difficult is to become bedridden, I wish to be able to get into a wheelchair. With the symptoms I'm having, it is very difficult even at this time to be in a wheelchair. After a while, my body needs to be back to bed! After walking a
few minutes, I'm already tired, the same thing with using my arms!!
I heard from my Neurosurgeon on August 1st. It made me very happy and more hopeful again. He wants me to have a cervical MRI and an EMG of the upper extremities and then depending on the result, I would have to go and see him in New york.
I immediately asked for an appointment to see a local Neurosurgeon, unfortunately, I was scheduled on Sept. 1 so I will have to check in everyday for cancellations.
Hoping for the best.
I try to make easy meals and healthy at the same time. I like to broil fish and vegetables. For breakfast, I usually eat banana and yogurt. Sometimes I ask Dora to cook enchilada and I eat it for many days!
I haven't posted for a while just because of the weakness of my extremities. I was taken to the ER last Wednesday because of weakness and numbness on the left side of my body. It is a very scary feeling when you feel your body becoming hard and weak, I thought I was going to be paralyzed!! My left side has been bothering me even more, it's weird because it used to be the right side that was weaker. It's disappointing that other people judge you. The doctor asked me to push and I couldn't push hard and she said, I know you can!! This disease could give you pain not only in the body but a heartache because it is an invisible disease that people tend to think you are exaggerating.
Right now, when I use my arms as for anything, right away it's hard to breath, I feel weaknesss in my chest area and the pain is excruciating. It feels like breathing from a very small sieve!!All my joints, including knuckles of my fingers are painful. Ankles, knees, root of my arms, elbows and wrists are all very painful and arms and legs are very weak. The weakness comes from inside. Right now, it is hard to stand up for a few minutes, my body seems like it is broken in the waist and buttocks area and my arms feel like they are going to fall off.
I am getting so close to being able to accept all of these but one thing that is going to be very difficult is to become bedridden, I wish to be able to get into a wheelchair. With the symptoms I'm having, it is very difficult even at this time to be in a wheelchair. After a while, my body needs to be back to bed! After walking a
few minutes, I'm already tired, the same thing with using my arms!!
I heard from my Neurosurgeon on August 1st. It made me very happy and more hopeful again. He wants me to have a cervical MRI and an EMG of the upper extremities and then depending on the result, I would have to go and see him in New york.
I immediately asked for an appointment to see a local Neurosurgeon, unfortunately, I was scheduled on Sept. 1 so I will have to check in everyday for cancellations.
Hoping for the best.
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