Mixed Emo

It's now very late but I couldn't sleep, I didn't feel like writing but I have to do it because it is important. Today was consequential. I have this oil that the homeopath from our church had given me which we apply in my back every  morning and before bedtime. This morning when it was time for Dora, my caregiver to apply it, I felt that the numbness was not just on the left side of my back but also on the right. I told her and she agreed, but I didn't say much about it after. For the past three days, I had been extremely weak that I had been staying in bed even more than the usual. It felt like all of my past problems from all different parts of my body came back and are falling into one whole thing. The swollen lymph nodes in my arm pit from since I was about 13 or 14 yrs old, the difference being that it merged with the stiffness of my left torso with the left breast area included. The bladder issue from my college years is back, only worse, my buttocks area which in 1999 felt like it was broken into pieces and was constantly burning, my left eye which was getting smaller over the years is even much smaller but both eyes are problematic. The leg pain which I used to get lumbar epidurals for in 1998 came back just a few days ago, only it's worse because it includes numbness and weakness in the thigh area as opposed to the front lower leg and whole back leg area many years ago. My stomach problem gradually progressed, it started in 1995. All the rest of these symptoms came back gradually over a period of many years but the pain in my thighs is the most recent. I had weakness on my right arm and wrist when I was about 9 yrs old but now it's the whole arm especially the area of the brachial plexus. The rest of my symptoms which are too many to mention mostly just started a few years back. In the evening, I felt so weak and tired that I didn't feel like taking my evening shower so I had a sponge bath and I felt the top of my chest on the left side was elevated. So I started checking it and I found out that the right and left both look normal and same in size, the difference is that I cannot feel the left side. I was kind of sad because within the last few months, the numbness had moved too fast. It is ravaging my whole torso. Suddenly, the difficulty breathing is back and I thought to myself, it's only in my mind. I definitely don't want to be in the ER!! Dr. Bolognese told me in his e-mail once that he doesn't think that paralysis is in my future, that was after finding out that my fingers were spared from getting numb first. There has to be finger and hand dysfunction for someone to suffer from quadriplegia. But in my case, the numbness started in my torso so it's a big question as to what will happen. As I lay thinking about it, I was so fearful when something came to mind, not from a fraction of my imagination, but basing it on my symptoms. We shall see. A big part of me says, I will not get paralyzed, but the reality is, my left side is now numb. Numbness doesn't mean paralysis, right? Pleeeaase, spare me!!